R

In Camelot

You are so good

That you are bad.

In dreams at night

You make me hot.

Perhaps you should

Visit my pad.

Where tight is right

In Camelot.

If I had my way

Song parody "If I had my way".

If I had my way, dear, forever you'd be
All ready to jump into bed, just with me,
And none of the other men we know would do,
Only me, loving you.

If I had my way, dear, I'd always get hard,
And you would feel sexy each day,
It would always excite as it did the first night,
If I had my way.

Dibbles and Commander

Dibbles is my pussy cat

I love to hear her purr

For people she approves of

She’ll let you stroke her fur.

Dibbles cat-naps every day

And meets her friends each night

She’s put out after dinner

To love or play or fight

Commander was our neighbor’s pet

A rooster in their yard

In training as a game cock

It grew both big and hard

That rooster was quite noisy

It started prior to dawn

He flew up in my neighbor’s tree

And crowed to greet the morn

One morning there was silence

I thanked the powers that be

Then I found blood and feathers

Spread out around that tree.

I never learned who did the deed

But Dibbles was my guess

I nursed my wounded warrior

Who came home quite a mess.

Now I sleep the whole night through

Since that loud bird was splat
My pussy swallowed that big cock
I'll drink a toast to that.

Mary Jane loved to romp in the hay

Song parody "In the shade of the old apple tree".

Mary Jane loved to romp in the hay
In the barn with us boys, every day.
John and Billy and me,
She would take on all three,
We would shuck off our clothes and we'd play.
We drew straws for who did what which way
By the front, back or oral entrée.
It was great fun and free
Till she had a baby,
Then the judge said we all had to pay.

She’s a Real Tramp

 “The Lady is a Tramp”

She loves to party,

And dance every night

When she is loaded,

She'll argue and fight

Do anything to,

Stay in the spotlight

That's why the lady is a tramp

She don't wear panties,

At dances or dates

Loves mini dresses

But brassieres she hates

She isn't fussy

About her bed-mates

That's why the lady is a tramp

I love her hair, fair,

Silken and long

In a sarong,

She looks great,

As my date

Perfect camp follower.

Without a camp

That's why the lady is a tramp

She makes me jealous

That others can see

The charms that I want

Reserved just for me

That joy of living

And love she gives free

That's why the lady is a tramp.

Cougar Song

Parody of, "I want a girl, just like the girl who married dear old dad".

Lyrics by William Dillon Published 1911

I want a boy
Just as a toy, to play with when I'm bad
Bring me a boy
I can enjoy, a strapping healthy lad
A strong, horny one like Oedipus Rex,
One who wants a workout for his sex.
Oh, I want a boy

A juicy boy, to fool with in my pad.

We all Knew Susie

We all knew Susie, our favorite floozy

Oh! Oh! Oh! What a girl

Young and athletic,

Fun and frenetic

Oh! Oh! She’d give you a thorough workout

Our team mascot, we had a ball

Karma Sutra

Every way, she knew them all

We all knew Susie, she wasn't choosy

Oh! Oh! What a girl!

My Roving Guitar

I took my guitar on my travels afar
All over the world it has been
Many a blue house, but not the White House
Though lots of colors between.

A maddened madam in old Amsterdam
I soothed with my songs and guitar
But till I had paid to love a young maid
She wouldn’t let me get far.

I wooed all night a Stakhanovite
A lady in Moscow with pecs.
She took me back to shack up in her shack
And trained me in submissive sex.

Back in the US of A one fine day
A young violinist I met
She shucked her things and I plucked her strings
That pluck was the best duet yet.

In that Battered Chevrolet

Song "There's an old mill by the stream".

In that battered Chevrolet,
Nellie Dean!
On its back seat we would play,
Nellie Dean!
At the drive-in movie show
Wild oats each night we’d sow
And you could quench my fire
With your fire,
Nellie Dean! Sweet Nellie Dean!

Mistletoe at Christmas

Can I wear mistletoe

In my hair when I go

Anywhere?

May I not meet a lass

Who has got a cute ass

And is hot?

Does that weed give me brass

To proceed, make a pass

On that she?

My wife might get upset

Start a fight or not let

Me tonight.

Get no mo’, sad goodbye,

Major woe, I would cry

Mistletoe.