G & S

Excerpts from “Miami’s Voice”, a 2 act opera with lyrics by Alan Beech and music by Sir Arthur Sullivan. Lyrics and music are at blogspot http://alanbeechnuttery.blogspot.com. The opera is available for performance without royalties (please contact Dr. Beech re production).

alanbeech@comcast.net

Meet the Barkeeps (Duet)

(Never mind the why or wherefore. HMS Pinafore)

CLAUDE

We are cleaning up the glasses

And we're polishing the brasses,

Clearing mess they left here last night,

And we’re stocking up the bar.

It will soon be looking ship-shape

And be regular -  five star.

CLAUDE & CECIL

We are happy with bar-keeping

Lots of parties, lots of fun.

Every morning we can sleep-in

Our work starts when day is done.

CLAUDE

Lots of crazy, noisy evenings

CECIL

Lots of boozy noisy evenings

CLAUDE

Lots of hazy lazy mornings

CECIL

Lots of crazy lazy mornings

CLAUDE & CECIL

Clear the air of cigarette smoke

It pollutes the air above

Laze awhile as if we’re rich folk

Dreaming of a life we'd love.

CECIL

Every night this place gets rowdy,

And the air becomes real cloudy.

Soon the place will start to hum here

With some artsy types that swing.

But here in South Beach, Miami

Sometimes movie stars, may sing.

Bouncer's Lament (Solo and chorus)

(When a felon’s not engaged in his employment. The Pirates of Penzance)

ROGER                                                                        CHORUS

Once I taught school but I wasn't very happy,               Very happy

So I looked around for something fun to do.                  Fun to do

Eventually I found this new employment,                     New employment,

Of bouncing work I did not have a clue.                        Have a clue,

But a teacher at a high school is well trained in            Is well trained in

The kind of things a bouncer must get done                 Must get done

For in both jobs there’s complainin' and detainin'        And detainin'

So a bouncer’s job is not a happy one.                         Happy one.

CHORUS

Ah, When a bar-room bouncer’s duty’s to be done,     To be done.

Then a bouncer’s job is not a happy one.                    A happy one.

ROGER                                                                     CHORUS

As a bouncer at this bar I can’t discover,                    Can’t discover,

Someone unsophisticated and demure,                       And demure,

Who would join me as a friend or as a lover.               As a lover.

I am seeking a companion who is pure.                       Who is pure

In my lonely life my feelings I must smother               You must smother,

When my duty as a bouncer must be done.                 Must be done.

Ah! Take one consideration with another,                  With another

Then a bouncer’s job is not a happy one.                    Happy one.

CHORUS

Ah! When a bar-room bouncer’s duty’s to be done.    To be done,

Then a bouncer’s lot is not a happy one.                    A happy one.

Bar Flies and a John (Four voices)

(When I went to the bar as a very young man. Iolanthe)

YA-YA

When I go to a bar with a very cute date,

Say I to myself, say I,

I drink quite a bit and I‘m often out late.

Say I to myself, say I,

I kick up my heels while I dance rock and roll.

I'll flash ‘em some skin to accomplish my goal,

While looking for Mr. Right to buttonhole.

Say I to myself, say I.

WE-WE

If I try for the look of a soph-is-ti-cate.

Say I to myself, say I.

And I dress for success, will they take the bait?

Say I to myself, say I.

Since I know all the news about nothing at all,

I can name all the stars of professional ball.

And I'm really good company on a pub-crawl.

Say I to myself, say I.

CI-CI

I think that men like me because I am bright.

Say I to myself, say I.

If I want to go out, I can date every night.

Say I to myself, say I.

I can talk about hunting and fishing and sex.

I will gasp at their muscles, their abs and their pecs.

But I can't pin one down and it’s starting to vex.

Say I to myself, say I.

JOHN

I can stay on my feet after ten or more beers.

Say I to myself, say I.

I’m a hell of a guy when I'm out with my peers.

Say I to myself, say I.

I'm a bang with the gang when we party out late.

And although it’s a secret I shouldn’t relate, (retard)

Sometimes I luck out and I get a bed-mate.

Say I to myself, say I.

Chick from Chicago (Solo and Chorus)

(He loves little Buttercup. HMS Pinafore)

CHLOE

I’ve just come from Chicago,

A chick from Chicago,

I’m sheltered and terribly shy.

It’s cold in Chicago,

With snow in Chicago,

But here it is sunny and dry.

I’m here on vacation,

Just in from the station,

They told me that South Beach is fun.

My life’s in stagnation,

I need this vacation,

So far I’ve behaved like a nun

Some sophistication,

Perhaps a libation,

Will lift up my spirits a bit.

Maybe this location

Will bring me elation,

And stop me from having a snit.

I have come from Chicago,

Cut loose from Chicago,

Sheltered and ever so shy.

But out of that city,

I am feeling self-pity,

Please bring a bourbon or rye.

CHORUS

She has come from Chicago,

A chick from Chicago,

She’s sheltered and ever so shy.

But out of that city,

She’s feeling self-pity,

Please take her a bourbon or rye.

Baiting the Trap (Duet)

(When the Foeman Bares his Steel. The Pirates of Penzance.)

CLAUDE                                              CLAUDE & CECIL

When a herring we would catch,               Tarantara! Tarantara!
 Opportunity we snatch                     Tarantara!

 When the hook is set with bait         Tarantara! Tarantara!

We can warble while we wait           Tarantara!
 

CECIL                                                 CLAUDE & CECIL   

Although beauty is skin deep                     Tarantara! Tarantara! 

It is not so very cheap                         Tarantara!

We’ll extract our pound of flesh.        Tarantara! Tarantara! 

When the filly we enmesh,          Tarantara! Tarantara! Tarantara!

                                                   Tarantara! Tarantara! Tarantara!

                                                   Tarantara! Tarantara! Tarantara!

                                                   Tarantara! Tarantara! Tarantara!

                                                   Tarantara! Ra Ra!      Tarantara! 

In Dark we Creep (Duet)

(This Very Night. HMS. Pinafore)

ROGER

I am a cop

In deep disguise

RITA

I am his friend

ROGER

We plan to stop

         Their web of lies

RITA

Their fleshpot end

ROGER

Their game will fail

RITA

Their den of vice

And woe betide

ROGER

They’ll end in jail

RITA

They’ll pay the price

Now we must hide.

ROGER & RITA

I am (He is) a cop

In deep disguise

She is my (I am his) friend

We plan to stop

         Their web of lies

Their fleshpot end

Their game will fail

Their den of vice

And woe betide

They’ll end in jail

They’ll pay the price

Now we must hide.

Bachelor Party (Solo & Men's Chorus)

(A British tar is a soaring soul. H M S Pinafore)

SALACIO

A bachelor is a soaring soul,

As free as a mountain bird

Though marriage he'll resist,

He loves a little tryst,

And commitment is absurd.

His nose should pant and his lips should curl,

His cheeks should flame and his brows should furl,

His bosom should heave and his heart should glow,

And his mind be ever wary of a knock-down blow.

CHORUS

My nose may pant and my lips may curl,

My cheeks may flame and my brows may furl,

My body may heave and my heart may glow,

And my mind is ever wary for a knock-down blow.

SALACIO

You gentlemen are my honored guests,

Your program I did decide.

So on this special night,

For your pleasure and delight,

The ladies I will provide.

My ladies vamp and their bosoms heave,
 Their skin may flash and their dresses cleave,

They are ready for fun so they may be lewd,

But if you get ‘em naked I will not intrude!

CHORUS

His ladies vamp and their bosoms heave,

Their skin may flash and their dresses cleave,

They are out for fun, so they may be lewd,

And if we get ‘em naked he will never intrude!

Three Little Escorts Cool are We (Three Voices)

(Three little maids from school are we. The Mikado)

YA-YA, WE-WE &  CI-CI

Three little escorts cool are we
Of inhibitions we are free.
Filled to the brim with girlish glee.
Three little escorts cool

YA-YA

Bring the guys, we will have some fun

WE-WE

Lots of Johns here for everyone

CI-CI

We do orgies or one on one

YA-YA, WE-WE &  CI-CI

Three little escorts cool

Three little escorts, quite contrary.

Maybe you think we’re mercenary.

Men! All they want is making Mary!

Three little escorts cool

YA-YA

One at a time for the usual sum.

WE-WE

Two at a time, and I bring a chum,

CI-CI

Three at a time for a rugby scrum

YA-YA, WE-WE &  CI-CI

Three little escorts cool

YA-YA

Three at a time is a triple play

WE-WE

Two can be double trouble, eh!

CI-CI

One on one’s a traditional lay

YA-YA, WE-WE &  CI-CI

Three little escorts cool

Three little escorts, quite contrary.

Maybe you think they’re mercenary.

Men! All they want is making Mary!

Three little escorts cool

Love Wins (Voices, Chorus, Whole Cast)

(Ring the Merry Bells on Board Ship. HMS. Pinafore)

PRINCIPALS & CHORUS

Call the daily news announcer

Rend the air with warbling go
For the joining of our bouncer

To the gal from Chi-ca-go

WOMEN

It’s exciting to discover

MEN

The detective undercover

WOMEN

Who was able to discover

MEN

Made the villains run for cover

PRINCIPALS & CHORUS

Roger has his Chloe found

Love still makes the world go round

Roger has his Chloe found

Love still makes the world go round